Mother A: “You need to breastfeed otherwise your child will have serious problems in the future, he might even be deaf or have constant ear infections.”
Mother B: “Jesus, I didn’t know that, I’ll definitely take that into account and try to do that.”
Mother A: “And you should stop eating sweets, because everything you eat now will have traumatic consequences on your child, he might have diabetes or other issues like that. I’m telling you, read on the internet, you will find a lot of good information there.”
Mother B: “I am new to this, so I didn’t know about all these things, but I will start reading as soon as I get home.”
Now, this was part of a conversation I’ve overheard in the park the other day. What is wrong about it? Well, the fact that Mother A had about 3 children running around and she wasn’t looking after them or making sure they were safe. Mother B was maybe 4 or 5 months pregnant and she seemed horrified about all the things she must have heard.
This is just WRONG! I appreciate all the mothers out there, I appreciate all the valuable advice they give to others, but sometimes, some of them just need to shut the f@#k up!
1. How many of you were caught in between the breastfeeding versus bottle feeding debate?
NO ONE can tell you how to feed your child! It is up to you how you decide to do this and it is a private matter, because no one asks you what you feed your husband, or do they? There are certain things that should be kept private and no one can put pressure on you or make you feel guilty because you’ve picked one over the other.
2. How many of you heard this “you shouldn’t ask for an epidural because it will harm the baby”?
Seriously, have you been through the pains of birth? When you are actually there, it is YOUR option and you can go for whatever you feel more comfortable with, because if you are calm and relaxed, the baby will be like that too. The doctors are there to advise and help, and you don’t have to justify your decision to anyone.
3. “You shouldn’t hold your baby in your arms too much because he’ll get used to it”
Are you kidding me?!? It is your child, part of you, why wouldn’t you hold your own child? Why wouldn’t you show affection and play and be part of that child’s life? I can’t really understand where some mothers come up with all the nonsense. I sure know that I miss holding my child, because she’s nearly 9 months and she just wants to play with her toys and she doesn’t need cuddles that much anymore.
4. “Children shouldn’t eat solid food before they are older than 6 or 7 months”…
I don’t even know what to say about this one. My baby started eating purées and different soups when she was about 4 months, and she loves trying new things. It is part of the growing up process and again, NO ONE should tell you how to do things, because YOU know your own child and what they need. You need to be there and see what your baby likes and needs, it is that simple.
5. When pregnant I often heard this “you should read more about what can happen if you do this or that”…
Yes, of course, it’s normal to read and want to know more about what will happen to your body and what changes are in front of you, but DON’T read everything because there are things you shouldn’t read when pregnant (hormones are a major cause). You will just worry with no real reason and pregnancy is the most beautiful period in a woman’s life!
1. Look in the mirror! See that little belly you have? It is your miracle, stop worrying or listening to others and ENJOY IT!
2. If you’re a mother already, take your baby in your arms, kiss your baby and just be there for that baby – IT IS NOT SO DIFFICULT!
3. Enjoy all the little things, because time flies and some moments don’t come back – like: baby’s first smile, or baby’s first word! Be there for that and stop listening to others.
4. You are a mother, you have the instinct for it, so just go with it and you’ll figure out what your baby likes, you shouldn’t listen to someone whose situation you don’t know.
5. Just be happy and let motherhood settle in and simply embrace it, this is an amazing part of life and you are able to experience it.