It’s hard to explain why we get attached to people and why we stop caring all of a sudden. Years of friendship can end in a few seconds, because of different reasons, but certain feelings still remain, even though people stop talking to each other. Maybe that’s when we get to categorize someone as being a close friend or a simple acquaintance.
Once you move to another county and you don’t meet people as often as you used to, things change dramatically. At first, for about six months or so, you talk on the phone, on Skype, you send e-mails, messages or texts. It is still the feeling of belonging to something or someone. It is like a warm, fuzzy feeling and although you know deep in your heart that things will never be the same between you and your friend, you go on with everything and continue the friendship.
The most difficult thing to get over is the fact that you can’t see each other for a coffee. You can’t hug or embrace a person. You can’t hold their hand when they’re in need and you pretty much have to speak to a cold, insipid screen to be able to see a person who is miles and miles away. It is hard, sometimes, it can’t be explained in words, because there are no words that can explain this kind of pain.
It is not the pain that comes from a sudden break, from a break-up or a friendship that ends because of a fight. It is a pain that keeps on going, because sometimes, when you least expect it, the person texts you again and let’s you know they miss you, although you haven’t spoken to each other for months. It hurts, not because you care, it hurts because you know that you are not part of your friend’s life any more, and they somehow cling to you, because you both think that things can get better again.
Maybe you wish you could go back home, or maybe they can come visit, but that happens very rarely. Time and money is a reason why you can’t meet your friends, and it is also a reason why some friendships don’t last that long. A feeling of warmth still remains, and all the memories are still there, but you can’t really continue everything as it was, because people adapt to change in different ways. They will look for a substitute, they will look for another person who can fill your spot.
It is weird, but it happens, and it hurts, and it’s a pain that doesn’t really go away, no matter what you do… because you will eventually ask yourself “what went wrong, why did this happen?”
I decided to write this today because I miss my friends, I miss some friendships and I celebrate the ones that I still have in my life, although we can’t see each other as often as we would like to. Coffee on Skype doesn’t taste as good as coffee in a friend’s kitchen, but it is still an option, although a temporary one.
Let’s just embrace whomever we have close and show them all our support, because there are people who need our affection and can’t have it because we’re too far away.
Hugs for all of you, lovely souls!